Waking up to the start of the end of the world
by asami.clam
Summary: Ciel Phantomhive wakes up in a strange prison cell with Alois, and some other "strange" people. This is my attempt at crack, so please enjoy! Cameo of: Attack on Titan, Fullmetal alchemist, Bleach, and me?


A/N: My school starts tomorrow, so wish me luck! Here is a pure crack one-shot that I thought of at 2AM, so let's get started!

If you wanna see some cosplay made by me, here you go!

Ciel Phantomhive rubbed his head.

'Where am I?', he thought, his mind still in a daze. He rubbed his head, and ignored the throbbing pain reverbrating through his skull. He looked around the damp, dark, and dirty room, and saw a familiar blonde boy chained to the wall next to him. He realized he also had loose cuffs tied to his wrists, but his feet were free. He looked around, and saw a toilet, two doors and two doors. One led to an outside hallway of some type, and another led to what had to be the next door cell. The key for the handcuffs lay right next to Ciel's feet carelessly next to him, and he picked it up and unlocked his wrists, and rubbed them, as he turned and slapped Alois' head and got him to wake as well. He couldn't leave the boy, as cruel as Ciel could be, Alois had been kind to hims before.

Alois was surprisingly quiet, and stayed that way, just an occasional groan of pain or two. tried to open the door leading to the hall, but it was locked. He then tried the door leading to the adjourning cell. Maybe someone could help him? The rusty metal door creaked open and the sight that met Ciel's eyes left him questioning his sanity, which was slowly fading.

There was a handful of people sitting there, in tattered clothes, but their appearances scared him witless. Three people walked up to him and Alois and introduced themselves. A brunette, a raven haired person, and a blonde.

"Hi, I'm Erin! Do you wanna kill some titans?" A girl that looked slightly boyish turned to Ciel, her short brunette hair swishing as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet as she waited for the others to talk.

"Hello, I'm Man-kasa." A boy-girl thing with chin length black hair looked at the duo before retreating its head back into a large red scarf.

"Greetings, I'm Armout! How fare thee?". A girl with chin length blonde hair and bright blue eyes stared at Ciel and Alois, and stuck out her hand.

Ciel reluctantly shook hands and said,

"I'm Earl Ciel Phantomhive" Alois chimed in, "I'm Alois!"

Erin twirled her hair with a finger and said, "So, like, is your middle name, like, Ciel or something? Is Earl your first name?" The last word was painfully drawled out. Great.

Man-kasa whispered something in Erin's ear and he said,

"Ooohhhhhhhhh", and went back to picking at her nails. Everyone sat down on the beds. There were a few more people there. A boy with bright orange hair and a girl with shoulder length black hair were sleeping on the bunk bed. A boy with long blonde hair tied into a braid argued with a girl with long black and white hair in a side ponytail, and they childishly bickered.

They introduced themselves as Ichigo, Rukia, Edward, and Asami, then went back to their previous activities.

Ciel sat cross legged on the floor and asked,

"What is this place? Why are we here?"

Erin said,

"Ok, so like, we like, were taken by this gurll and her friendsss and we woke up here in this jail cell, but like, I'm totally fine with that 'cos then all of us get a break from our work, right? So, yeah!" She stopped talking and watched a cockroach intensely on the floor.

Armout said, "Meaning, we all have been trapped here for a week, and we could break out if we wanted to or naw, but we like it better here, they feed us."

Man-kasa spoke up. "Do you want to see my biceps? Or touch my abs?", Ciel weakly groaned,

"I'll pass", but Alois went for it anyways. Erin chewed and popped some gum that she pulled out of nowhere.

All of a sudden, a song played through the air,

I wanna take you to a gay bar,

I wanna take you to a gay bar,

I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.

Ciel cringed, and some kind of PA system thing went off.

"I. Am. Kira! Muahahhaaaahaaa!", came an absurd laugh, and some slight choking. Ciel cringed and heard the raspy voice.

"I own you all for my secret yaoi goodness and I need you for the plot bunnies! I'll return you... sometime, but for now, I AM GAAWWDDDD! *cough*". The speaker closed, and annoying elevator music began to play.

Oh, you touch my tralala,

mmm... my ding ding dong.

la la la la la la la,

la la la la la la,

la la la la la la la.

Every body screamed and wailed as their ears bled and they cried for mercy. Man-kasa took off its jacket, to be left in a tank top. It flexed its arms and ran to the PA and smashed it. Then posed on top of the table that appeared out of nowhere as Alois and Erin cheered.

The ceiling suddenly crumbled and a man with short dark hair and an undercut wearing a pink feather boa dropped through, into Erin's arms. Ciel gasped, and Sebastian came down too, in a corset and a mini skirt. Man-kasa took a baby pouch holder for twins and put Erin in the front pouch and Armout in the back. Rukia, Ichigo, Edward and Asami all ran, and Sebastian was a step pedal thing to pull them up through the broken ceiling. The other man, so called Levi ran daintily amongst everyone, as Sebastian somehow managed to capture Ciel and Alois. They all ran to the end, and saw the passcode to open the door had to be opened with a pair of chopsticks. They picked Rukia and Man-kasa to open the door because they were supah kawaii Asians, out of everyone in the group. Asami and Ichigo went to the Tamaki corner. They opened the chopsticks packet and saw there was only one.

Down the hall, running towards them were two men, one black haired with a white shirt and jeans, and another one with a black book and a short Zac Efron hairstyle. They were all about to die, when Erin said, "Oh Yeah", popped her gum, spit it out onto Man-kasa's forehead, and bit her freshly manicured hand.

She turned into a titan, but Light latched onto her and wasn't going to let go... until Sebastian played Never Say Never by Justin Beiber, and Light's brain went into shock, because the song said Never at least eight times. He screamed, and dropped down and fell into L's arms, and everyone grabbed onto Erin's hair and they ran off into the sunset, only to die of ashy skin.

Ciel, Sebastian and Alois were the sole survivors.

"Idiots", Ciel muttered. His makeup bag always had Ultra Moisture BB cream in it. Sebby was a devil. And Alois was so full of hot air that even more of it didn't affect him.

And they left, leaving nothing behind but a stained pair of underwear.

A/N: I'm done now. I took something of a shot at writing crack and here you go! And yes, I killed off myself and my Elric. Anyone like my attack on titan parody names? Sorta?

Ok, I'm done. Baii!


End file.
